Brother
My New Brother

In the early 1970’s my mother confided in me that my real father was not whom I had been told he was. I had always been made to believe that my older brother Larry 1934-1988 and I were the sons of Gerald Cox 1918- 1938. So I always thought that my father had died when I was an infant. Try as I might I could not get my mother to tell me anything about my real father. This caused some hard feeling between us. I felt that she had been very selfish in her desire to get it off her chest for whatever reason and leave me in such turmoil.

Sometime later I confided in my youngest aunt what my mother had told me. Due to our closeness in age she had never heard or known anything. During the summer of 1996 one of my older aunts made a comment that if Gerald was not my father then she believed that my father might be George Silva. Again feeling betrayed as I had told my one aunt in confidence, I acted as though I had not heard her. For anyone knowing me that would not be a surprise as my hearing has deteriorated.

On October the 8th 1996 I received a phone call from a childhood neighbor and long time friend. He informed me that his wife had just received a letter, from someone wanting information about his cousins. They had moved to Palmer Alaska in 1938 when he was eleven years old. He read the letter to me and BOOM it was signed Earl Silva. My heart raced SILVA that was the name my aunt had said. Trying not to appear as exited as I was, I asked my friend to FAX the letter to me. I was pumped up, there were a lot of unknowns but I felt I was about to find the roots from my father's side. The message in the letter did not mean as much to me as the name Silva did. In the letter he was looking for cousins that came about because his mother and my supposed father Gerald COX were half brother and sister. I felt sure that there was more to the story then cousins because of the name Silva.

I called my aunt in Palmer and started questioning her, at fist she was stand offish and commented that she wished she had not said anything. I told her I was glad she had and please help. She told me that at the time she was a teenager but remembered George Silva was married to Geralds sister and that he had several sons and maybe some daughters. (Daughters I Always Wanted a Sister)

Without a plan I attempted to call my mother for some answers only to find that she was not in but was expected soon. I started thinking that maybe I needed more information anyway before I spoke with her.

I called WA to my supposed new cousin and let on that yes I was Bill Cox his lost cousin and that my older brother had passed away. He filled me in on the Cox family history as well as some of the Silva to include that his mother and father had divorced. At that time I did not want to appear to have any knowledge about my father. It was an upbeat conversation with lots of questions from each side. He was very careful to keep his thoughts about the fact that we were brothers to himself.

I thought my God it's like talking to myself! The way his voice carries and his thought pattern. I was convinced that I was on the right track. Now came the real problem how was I going to get my mother to tell me what I wanted to hear. I hated the thought of being too forceful with her as she had just lost her husband of 50 years one month earlier.

When I called again, she answered my heart began to race. This time I had a plan and was going to get the answers by telling what I call a white lie.

"Mom are you setting down now?""If not please do I have some shocking news." Not remembering her reply but I went into my spiel. “Mom I received a phone call from Earl Silva in WA and he says he is my brother." after a short silence,“I don’t know who that is.” “Mom he is the son of George Silva.” More silence then “I don’t know who that is." “Mom he says he is my brother and I believe he is" more silence."Mom we are so sure that we are we are going to have DNA testing done."

My heart was really racing now! What if I was wrong then what? “Yes he is your brother” Wow I was elated tears came to my eyes and I only remember bits of the rest of the conversation as I had heard what I wanted.

I was on cloud nine, now it was time to let Sarita in on what was happening. She had been in and out of the house all day assisting our friend from Kenai. Who was up for some motorhome repairs. She and he had commented to each other that it was strange for me to be on the phone each time they came in the door. They both know I do not like to be on the phone anymore than I have to.

I handed the letter to Sarita and said “What do you think of this” she read it and I said “Is he looking for a cousin or a brother?” She gave me a blank stare shrugged her shoulders and said “I have no idea”

We called WA and after all the "great to hear and how you doings." I came out and said "Earl do you know or have you heard anything that might indicate that we may be more than cousins?" Short silence "Yes Bill my mother had made a few comments that George had a son in Alaska" I said " Hi Brother! "

We were both elated. We both had wished we had been more aggressive and found each other sooner but the old story better late then never really holds true. As we were talking Sarita pulled out an old picture album that my mother had left behind years before. There was a picture of my brother when he was eleven years old. You can not imagine the joy that I felt, I still get goose bumpy as I think about it.The pictures in the album had never ment anything to me before, but there I was looking at old photo’s that my new brother was able to tell me what they were.

Earl informed me that his health was not very good so when was I coming down. I told him I would let him know. I was in the middle of a semester teaching a class at UAA. I made reservations to go down the end of Oct., then got busy with the class preparation so I would not get behind.

As the time to depart neared I started to be concerned. Maybe things might not come out the way that I thought and that I could be getting into a can of worms. We had just bought a new motorhome and had plans to go out to AZ to be with my mother over the first Christmas without her husband. So Sarita was busy packing and making preparations for our departure on Dec. 13th.

I knew Sarita was busy but I said. “ I wish now that I had made reservations for you to go also.” She thought for a bit then said “maybe it's not to late.” I took that as a yes she would go and immediately called for and got reservations for her with side by side seats.

I must tell you that I was quite apprehensive about reaching out to learn about my roots. When in years past, I would speculate about who my father was and what type of person that he might be. I would end my thoughts with it did not matter, because I was who I was and that I could be proud of my accomplishments,(most of all my family) and my position in society.

When I called again, she answered my heart began to race. This time I had a plan and was going to get the answers by telling what I call a white lie.

"Mom are you setting down now?""If not please do I have some shocking news." Not remembering her reply but I went into my spiel. “Mom I received a phone call from Earl Silva in WA and he says he is my brother." after a short silence,“I don’t know who that is.” “Mom he is the son of George Silva.” More silence then “I don’t know who that is." “Mom he says he is my brother and I believe he is" more silence."Mom we are so sure that we are we are going to have DNA testing done."

My heart was really racing now! What if I was wrong then what? “Yes he is your brother” Wow I was elated tears came to my eyes and I only remember bits of the rest of the conversation as I had heard what I wanted.

I was on cloud nine, now it was time to let Sarita in on what was happening. She had been in and out of the house all day assisting our friend from Kenai. Who was up for some motorhome repairs. She and he had commented to each other that it was strange for me to be on the phone each time they came in the door. They both know I do not like to be on the phone anymore than I have to.

I handed the letter to Sarita and said “What do you think of this” she read it and I said “Is he looking for a cousin or a brother?” She gave me a blank stare shrugged her shoulders and said “I have no idea”

We called WA and after all the "great to hear and how you doings." I came out and said "Earl do you know or have you heard anything that might indicate that we may be more than cousins?" Short silence "Yes Bill my mother had made a few comments that George had a son in Alaska" I said " Hi Brother! "

We were both elated. We both had wished we had been more aggressive and found each other sooner but the old story better late then never really holds true. As we were talking Sarita pulled out an old picture album that my mother had left behind years before. There was a picture of my brother when he was eleven years old. You can not imagine the joy that I felt, I still get goose bumpy as I think about it.The pictures in the album had never ment anything to me before, but there I was looking at old photo’s that my new brother was able to tell me what they were.

Earl informed me that his health was not very good so when was I coming down. I told him I would let him know. I was in the middle of a semester teaching a class at UAA. I made reservations to go down the end of Oct., then got busy with the class preparation so I would not get behind.

As the time to depart neared I started to be concerned. Maybe things might not come out the way that I thought and that I could be getting into a can of worms. We had just bought a new motorhome and had plans to go out to AZ to be with my mother over the first Christmas without her husband. So Sarita was busy packing and making preparations for our departure on Dec. 13th.

I knew Sarita was busy but I said. “ I wish now that I had made reservations for you to go also.” She thought for a bit then said “maybe it's not to late.” I took that as a yes she would go and immediately called for and got reservations for her with side by side seats.

I must tell you that I was quite apprehensive about reaching out to learn about my roots. When in years past, I would speculate about who my father was and what type of person that he might be. I would end my thoughts with it did not matter, because I was who I was and that I could be proud of my accomplishments,(most of all my family) and my position in society.

We were received with open arms by my brother Earl and his wife Laila. My fears laid aside it was great having Sarita there to help me sort through all the information we received about the Silva family. Besides my New Brother Earl, My father George 1896-1987 brother Delbert 1918-1991 brother Russell 1920-1972 sister Inez 1922-1979 sister Edith 1924-1992 14 nieces and nephews, 26 grand nieces and nephews, 3 great grand nieces and nephews.

Besides meeting Earl and Laila we met one of their daughters Cynthia and her husband Jerry as well as a former brother in law John. We shared stories and photo’s of our family’s and our past history’s. All to soon it was time to come home and try to continue to sort and absorb the information we had received.

That was our first of many meeting. We also attended along with Daughter and son in law Troy brothers 50th Wedding Anniversary family get together. We met a lot of new family members.

Brother Earl passed Jan. 29, 2002

Brother Earl: Remembrance


STUMPED

Or Two Peas In A POD?

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